I went with a friend of mine to visit her best friend in the hospital last evening and it really was a slap in the face for me. We have dealt with a death in our extended family during the past few months and although I certainly was not ready for Bonnie Blue's Papa to leave us...I knew it was time. He had made his peace with the people he felt he needed to and his relationship with God was secure. I even had the "you need to tell him it is okay for him to go" discussion with his daughter. He was tired of fighting and just needed those he was leaving to let him know that it was okay.
Now I see this women who is younger than I am who has been fighting...and I mean FIGHTING...the situation she is in for years and she is just tired. And I cannot even begin to see how something good could come out of her passing. I firmly believe God has this all under control and normally don't question "why?" but this one is just beyond my understanding. I quess that is where faith comes in to play.
I spent the entire time driving to the hospital whining and complaining about a variety of things...only to get to the hospital and see that all that stuff doesn't matter. Please remember her in your prayers as well as her devoted husband and two children. She has been in the hospital for two weeks now and I don't think her husband has gone home once (not that we didn't offer to stay with her last night and send him home).
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I am back...for the tenth time!!
Finally back again! And this time it was over a year...guess you can take that to mean everything is going so well I don't need to blog nor have the time. It's a thought anyway!!!
Updates:
1. Tanker needs a new name!! His unit has gone from a tank unit to a cav scout troop and is scheduled to redeploy to Iraq the beginning of 2010. As of today, he is non-deployable; however, he will have to go before the medical review board. He is expecting that to happen in September so just a few months of wondering. They introduced him at the cav ball last weekend as the "oldest cav scout" so my hope is they will find him more valuable left in the states. I know he wants to go...there are still several young guys that he considers his kids that he is concerned about but this is the one time I am being selfish and hoping he stays home.
2. Big Bubba and Ms. Smitten are doing well. Big Bubba has started taking the CPA exams and passed the first one...only 4 more to go (I think). Ms. Smitten starts back to school in the fall working on becoming a Physicians Assistant. No grands yet but they are doing very well. Hard to believe he will be 28 years old later this month. Surely he can't be 28...that makes me WAY to old!!!
3. Little Bubba has moved back here with us along with his almost 3 year old son. It has been an eventful few weeks getting used to a young one in the house again but I am really grateful they are here and I am hopeful we can be the help Little Bubba needs to raise the little squirt. And if nothing else, I am sure he will provide lots of stuff to blog about.
4. Bonnie Blue is in her sophomore year of college and has moved off campus into a new apartment complex. They have finally opened the local restaurant where she is working so traveling to the closest location at 30 to 45 minutes is over. She will be working full time until school starts back up in September. I know she is happy living/working there but I miss having time with her. May have to get in the car this weekend and go visit.
5. I am back to work...at an agricultural firm doing weekly payroll and AP. Getting out of the house was a good thing. I am enjoying having something to do on a daily basis.
As a family we have had an eventful year. My father had quad bypass heart surgery, my mother had hernia surgery and we lost Bonnie Blue's Papa to cancer. This has definitely been enough for me!
See you next time...hopefully I will be more faithful.
Updates:
1. Tanker needs a new name!! His unit has gone from a tank unit to a cav scout troop and is scheduled to redeploy to Iraq the beginning of 2010. As of today, he is non-deployable; however, he will have to go before the medical review board. He is expecting that to happen in September so just a few months of wondering. They introduced him at the cav ball last weekend as the "oldest cav scout" so my hope is they will find him more valuable left in the states. I know he wants to go...there are still several young guys that he considers his kids that he is concerned about but this is the one time I am being selfish and hoping he stays home.
2. Big Bubba and Ms. Smitten are doing well. Big Bubba has started taking the CPA exams and passed the first one...only 4 more to go (I think). Ms. Smitten starts back to school in the fall working on becoming a Physicians Assistant. No grands yet but they are doing very well. Hard to believe he will be 28 years old later this month. Surely he can't be 28...that makes me WAY to old!!!
3. Little Bubba has moved back here with us along with his almost 3 year old son. It has been an eventful few weeks getting used to a young one in the house again but I am really grateful they are here and I am hopeful we can be the help Little Bubba needs to raise the little squirt. And if nothing else, I am sure he will provide lots of stuff to blog about.
4. Bonnie Blue is in her sophomore year of college and has moved off campus into a new apartment complex. They have finally opened the local restaurant where she is working so traveling to the closest location at 30 to 45 minutes is over. She will be working full time until school starts back up in September. I know she is happy living/working there but I miss having time with her. May have to get in the car this weekend and go visit.
5. I am back to work...at an agricultural firm doing weekly payroll and AP. Getting out of the house was a good thing. I am enjoying having something to do on a daily basis.
As a family we have had an eventful year. My father had quad bypass heart surgery, my mother had hernia surgery and we lost Bonnie Blue's Papa to cancer. This has definitely been enough for me!
See you next time...hopefully I will be more faithful.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Here we go again....
I am...once again...negligent when it comes to my blogging! Story of my life. Alot has changed around here. Bonnie Blue is now officially a High School graduate! She decided to go ahead and start college this summer so she leaves in a few days. The nest is going to be empty soon!! This one has really hit me hard. I am glad Big Bubba got to come down and spend a few days with us. The two of them spent some quality time together and she really enjoyed it...shopping/dinner/movies!!
Tanker was home on leave last week for graduation and it was nice to pretend to be a normal family for a change! He left on Sunday and I was back to work on Monday...bored as usual...and checking out the web when I came across a headline that said something like "DoD announces latest troop deployments". Lately this has been so far off my radar that I am not sure what possessed me to clink on the headline but I did. The article outlined which active duty units were being deployed and noted four National Guard brigades that were slated to go...and of course there was Tanker's. I immedately got him on the phone and questioned him. You could tell from his tone of voice that he was busted. It turned out that he had gotten a call during his leave last week and intended on telling me after graduation. Gotta love the man...he knows I couldn't have handled it prior to graduation!!
Don't know what will happen now. He is scheduled to come off active duty orders in November. Not sure what we will do at that point. Hopefully they will have a better handle on the redeployment situation by then. Can't imagine that they will send a 52 yr old back to the sandbox but they took a 48 yr old the last time!!
Maybe I can keep this up now. Somewhere to vent!!
Tanker was home on leave last week for graduation and it was nice to pretend to be a normal family for a change! He left on Sunday and I was back to work on Monday...bored as usual...and checking out the web when I came across a headline that said something like "DoD announces latest troop deployments". Lately this has been so far off my radar that I am not sure what possessed me to clink on the headline but I did. The article outlined which active duty units were being deployed and noted four National Guard brigades that were slated to go...and of course there was Tanker's. I immedately got him on the phone and questioned him. You could tell from his tone of voice that he was busted. It turned out that he had gotten a call during his leave last week and intended on telling me after graduation. Gotta love the man...he knows I couldn't have handled it prior to graduation!!
Don't know what will happen now. He is scheduled to come off active duty orders in November. Not sure what we will do at that point. Hopefully they will have a better handle on the redeployment situation by then. Can't imagine that they will send a 52 yr old back to the sandbox but they took a 48 yr old the last time!!
Maybe I can keep this up now. Somewhere to vent!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
It all comes into perspective
My biggest fear came true Friday night. One of the students from BB's school had a fatal car accident that night. This is a young lady a year behind her but one of those kids that you see daily in the halls. I know kids don't understand why we as parents worry so much but this is why.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
And the beat goes on...
Well, I am back again. Working now...so maybe I can be a little better about posting. If for no other reason than to have a written, dated listing of all of the medical symptoms I keep dealing with!
And the latest in "my journey through the medical community"...
The numbness in my right leg lasted about a month. Not sure what that was!!
Saw diabetic doc earlier this week. My A1C was a little higher than I would like. Just need to concentrate and watch my numbers closer. The problem was with my blood pressure. It had been high the last time I was in (3 months ago) and was up again this trip. So, let's add high blood pressure meds to the list. I told him that I was fed up with there being a new problem every time I see him and that I wasn't coming back! Fortunately this guy has a sense of humor.
He did make me feel better about looking for a second opinion on the MS/TIA dx. Said if it was his wife/mother, he would suggest a second opinion. So I am in search of a neurologist who specilizes in MS care. Currently on hold with the National Multiple Sclerosis Society to see what they can tell me about docs in this area.
Otherwise...we are getting ready for the end of Bonnie Blue's Senior year. Can't believe she is going to graduate. Prom is in 3 weeks and graduation is a month after that. Will save my rant about those costs for the next post!!!
And the latest in "my journey through the medical community"...
The numbness in my right leg lasted about a month. Not sure what that was!!
Saw diabetic doc earlier this week. My A1C was a little higher than I would like. Just need to concentrate and watch my numbers closer. The problem was with my blood pressure. It had been high the last time I was in (3 months ago) and was up again this trip. So, let's add high blood pressure meds to the list. I told him that I was fed up with there being a new problem every time I see him and that I wasn't coming back! Fortunately this guy has a sense of humor.
He did make me feel better about looking for a second opinion on the MS/TIA dx. Said if it was his wife/mother, he would suggest a second opinion. So I am in search of a neurologist who specilizes in MS care. Currently on hold with the National Multiple Sclerosis Society to see what they can tell me about docs in this area.
Otherwise...we are getting ready for the end of Bonnie Blue's Senior year. Can't believe she is going to graduate. Prom is in 3 weeks and graduation is a month after that. Will save my rant about those costs for the next post!!!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Cool find
Found this site today and thought I would share...
http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php
http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php
Friday, December 07, 2007
Round 2
Continuing from yesterdays rant...
This past year has been awful from a medical standpoint. I mean, I know how to handle medical issues. I have been a diabetic since I was 13 - in excess of 30 years now. I have taken up to three shots a day, spent more time in a doctors office than I care to remember and have done relatively well over the years! Began using the insulin pump about 4 years ago and honestly that was the best thing that had ever happened. No more shots!
I say all of this to stress that I am not incapable of handling medical issues. I am quite competent. Until this year.
It all started when I was with Tanker for his shoulder surgery. I was talking with my sister on the phone and she noticed that I was slurring my speech. Checked my blood sugar because this is one of the issues I have with a low but all was well. Tanker took me to the emergency room and they hooked me up to all kinds of machines, ran several blood tests and determined...well, not much. They weren't sure, didn't think it was a stroke but suggested that I check with my doc when I got home. My main concern was this was really the second episode that I had had with stroke like symptoms. (The previous one was about a year prior.)
So...I drive home and start looking for a new doc. I was ready for a new diabetic doctor anyway and quite honestly could not stand the possibility that I may just get patted on the head and told to head home from the family practitioner I had been seeing.
New doc was great...listened to me and most importantly did not pat me on the head. He suggested that we have an MRI done just to check things out. Two days later I get a call from his nurse saying there were some "abnormalities" on the MRI and they wanted me to see a Neurologist. Fortunately, they were able to get me in really quickly (aren't cancellations wonderful!!??!!) because I have a very active imagination and had all kinds of things going through my brain.
Neurologist says he believes it is MS but we should wait through the summer, redo the MRI and do a spinal tap. WOW...I knew absolutely nothing about MS so I began reading. And everything that had happened seemed to fall in line with what I was told to expect.
Waited through the summer. Saw the diabetic doc during this time and both he and nurse said that was what they thought. Said the six legions they saw on my brain was the worse he had seen. So, I was working through this and getting my head around what this meant now and for in the future.
Had another MRI done and then went to see the Neurologist in the early fall. Tanker was home on leave so he went with me. Now this doc thinks it is TIA's (mini strokes) and not MS. Now don't get me wrong...I am grateful. But I guess my whole problem with this is I had figured out in my mind how I was going to be able to handle the progression of MS while by myself until Tanker comes home permanently. Now it is mini strokes. Whole different ball game. How do I handle this by myself? And this doc put me on Plavix and basically sent me home. No suggestion that I stop smoking (even though I had but hadn't told the doc that), no talk of any other lifestyle changes I can make. When I asked what to do if I have any more episodes...he told me to check my blood sugar (totally agree...good plan) and then call either him or the diabetic doc. WHAT? Shouldn't we call 911 or at least go to the emergency room?
So...now I am working to wrap myself around this diagnosis. I am scared to death to get behind the wheel of a car and am thankful that Bonnie Blue is driving. Just finally started going back to the gym this week. Hate the drive but I am hopeful the exercise will outweigh my fear.
Heading back to the diabetic doc in about 12 days. This will be the first time that I will see him since the change in diagnosis. Need to see if he thinks I am crazy for wanting a second opinion. Also, having strange feelings in my right thigh. Not quite the falling asleep feeling like I get in my feet and hands. More of a burning sensation. My guess is Diabetic Neuropathy. And the beat goes on...
This past year has been awful from a medical standpoint. I mean, I know how to handle medical issues. I have been a diabetic since I was 13 - in excess of 30 years now. I have taken up to three shots a day, spent more time in a doctors office than I care to remember and have done relatively well over the years! Began using the insulin pump about 4 years ago and honestly that was the best thing that had ever happened. No more shots!
I say all of this to stress that I am not incapable of handling medical issues. I am quite competent. Until this year.
It all started when I was with Tanker for his shoulder surgery. I was talking with my sister on the phone and she noticed that I was slurring my speech. Checked my blood sugar because this is one of the issues I have with a low but all was well. Tanker took me to the emergency room and they hooked me up to all kinds of machines, ran several blood tests and determined...well, not much. They weren't sure, didn't think it was a stroke but suggested that I check with my doc when I got home. My main concern was this was really the second episode that I had had with stroke like symptoms. (The previous one was about a year prior.)
So...I drive home and start looking for a new doc. I was ready for a new diabetic doctor anyway and quite honestly could not stand the possibility that I may just get patted on the head and told to head home from the family practitioner I had been seeing.
New doc was great...listened to me and most importantly did not pat me on the head. He suggested that we have an MRI done just to check things out. Two days later I get a call from his nurse saying there were some "abnormalities" on the MRI and they wanted me to see a Neurologist. Fortunately, they were able to get me in really quickly (aren't cancellations wonderful!!??!!) because I have a very active imagination and had all kinds of things going through my brain.
Neurologist says he believes it is MS but we should wait through the summer, redo the MRI and do a spinal tap. WOW...I knew absolutely nothing about MS so I began reading. And everything that had happened seemed to fall in line with what I was told to expect.
Waited through the summer. Saw the diabetic doc during this time and both he and nurse said that was what they thought. Said the six legions they saw on my brain was the worse he had seen. So, I was working through this and getting my head around what this meant now and for in the future.
Had another MRI done and then went to see the Neurologist in the early fall. Tanker was home on leave so he went with me. Now this doc thinks it is TIA's (mini strokes) and not MS. Now don't get me wrong...I am grateful. But I guess my whole problem with this is I had figured out in my mind how I was going to be able to handle the progression of MS while by myself until Tanker comes home permanently. Now it is mini strokes. Whole different ball game. How do I handle this by myself? And this doc put me on Plavix and basically sent me home. No suggestion that I stop smoking (even though I had but hadn't told the doc that), no talk of any other lifestyle changes I can make. When I asked what to do if I have any more episodes...he told me to check my blood sugar (totally agree...good plan) and then call either him or the diabetic doc. WHAT? Shouldn't we call 911 or at least go to the emergency room?
So...now I am working to wrap myself around this diagnosis. I am scared to death to get behind the wheel of a car and am thankful that Bonnie Blue is driving. Just finally started going back to the gym this week. Hate the drive but I am hopeful the exercise will outweigh my fear.
Heading back to the diabetic doc in about 12 days. This will be the first time that I will see him since the change in diagnosis. Need to see if he thinks I am crazy for wanting a second opinion. Also, having strange feelings in my right thigh. Not quite the falling asleep feeling like I get in my feet and hands. More of a burning sensation. My guess is Diabetic Neuropathy. And the beat goes on...
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